[Snowblind] IC Inbox

[cahooted]

This is Flynn. Hi!

Comments

[cahooted]

[It's not fair. All he wanted to do was read his books.

What is he supposed to do with this? What is he supposed to tell Peter? What can you even say? Flynn wants to cover his ears (cut out my vocal chords), doesn't want to hear it (awake for everything), doesn't want to think it. Not today, not right now.

But then he watches Peter looking so small and lost and some of the conflicting emotion ebbs away in the wake of sympathy.]

Do you...

[He clears his throat.]

Do you want to tell me about it?

[zunesareawesome]

[Peter's staring with wide eyes, part of him wants to spill everything, part of him wants to pretend it never happened.]

Do you think you can handle it? It was pretty bad.

[cahooted]

[Oh, now he's asking him.]

I don't know. [Probably not.] If... you think it will help?

That's what friends are for, right? [He has no idea, Cal doesn't talk, but it sounds about right.]

[zunesareawesome]

[It probably would help. Or maybe he’d just scream a lot. He didn’t want to traumatize Flynn, though. He’d try to go easy on him.]

It’s just...I hated seeing Stephen like that, but I also really...when he was doing it, I hated him. Even though I figured it wasn’t his fault, and now I know for real it wasn’t his fault...I don’t hate him now, I mean...

He’s my friend and this town’s done something to us that can’t be taken back. How do you get over this!?

Imagine me, standing over you with a scalpel, cuttin’ you up and stictchin’ you up and putting implants in you then later telling you that you’ll thank me for it. Being stuffed full of electronics.

And what’s really messed up? That’s really not so far off from the stuff that’s happened to my friends. And sorta-not-enemy-anymore. Gamora? She was turns into a weapon, given body mods. Nebula got the worst of it. Cybernetic limbs, the works. Rocket? Rocket’s got implants, he was experimented on.

[Peter had a translator implant, but that was a good thing, didn’t count.]

[cahooted]

[Flynn listens, feeling a cold shiver running down his spine. From time to time he feels like interjecting but the rambling seems to do Peter good, getting the horrible memories off his chest. And horrible they are, literally; something straight from a horror movie, too awful to be real, this shouldn't be real.

He's my friend and this town's done something to us that can't be taken back.

Well, he can emphasize with that.]

I think it's normal not knowing what to do. Or what to feel. You went through something nobody should ever go through, why wouldn't you be upset? Maybe you don't need to 'get over it' just now. Maybe you don't... need an answer.

[He rubs at his forehead for a moment.]

You already said you don't hate him now. You're still traveling together so I guess both of you are... willing to work on this. The town didn't take that away.

[zunesareawesome]

[That’s...surprisingly good advice. He’s always tried so hard to ignore his feelings or deny bad stuff happened that someone telling him that it’s okay to be upset is...freeing.]

Maybe.

And yeah, I guess you’re right. I mean, I still feel like screaming when I see his face but hey.

[A pause.]

So me trying to run you over...we cool about that too? Did you ever find my Light, by the way?

[cahooted]

I don't feel like screaming when I see your face if that's what you're asking.

[Maybe not the most gentle transition and he exhales, rubbing the back of his neck.] Yeah, we're cool. I mean, it was very upsetting? [Is.] But I know it wasn't your fault.

[Flynn takes some of the books, arranging them in a neat pile. It's more to give him something to do than anything.]

I... no, I didn't. I went looking for it and I asked on the network but I couldn't reach anyone.

[zunesareawesome]

Good.

I mean, my face isn’t plastered on the side of a planet anymore so...

[He found the situation to be pretty hilarious, all things considered, except he did feel bad for terrorizing Flynn. But that run, man...]

Oh. Well, I was kinda wondering where you went.

[cahooted]

[That just gets Peter two eyebrows moving up.] Yeah, that... that helps.

Where I went? What do you mean?

[zunesareawesome]

I mean, you said you were coming back? You said to stay and wait for you, so I did? You said you’d be back. I stayed there for like two whole days.

[He doesn’t look mad, just disappointed? He trusts you, Flynn.]

[cahooted]

[Flynn blinks, giving him a puzzled look in return. Of every reaction he expected here, in this conversation... he gets disappointment? Why? Where is it coming from?]

Well, I was trying to figure out what had happened? And where your light could be and then it was over and everyone was back to normal and-- you stayed there for two days?

[zunesareawesome]

...yeah? I was waiting for you. You said you would.

[In hindsight it wasn’t a bad thing cause he didn’t want to hurt Flynn, but planetfeelings were a thing and it all seemed very real right now okay?]

[cahooted]

But I didn't find your light in time. I would have? But things were back to normal before I could come back.

[This conversation just took an uncomfortable turn. Flynn feels bad about not finding Peter's light all of a sudden and a little guilty.

And then, frankly, a little angry that he should feel bad.]

I mean, what... was I supposed to do?

[zunesareawesome]

I don’t know, come back quicker and let me know it was a lost cause? I waited for two days, man.

[Sulky planetfeelings.]

[cahooted]

I hadn't given up on it yet!

Are you... sulking?

[zunesareawesome]

No!

I’m not sulking! I’m totally not sulking! Do I look like I’m sulking?

[He totally was.]

[cahooted]

[A long pause.]

Yeah, you kind of do.

[zunesareawesome]

This is not a sulking face!

[He points to his face and forces an aggressive smile.]

[cahooted]

No, now it's a creepy face. A creepy face covering up a sulky face.

[Flynn doesn't appreciate the creepy face, Peter.]

Look, I'm sorry you waited for two days. Really! I didn't... I didn't mean to make you wait, I swear. But I don't think sulking is all that appropriate given the circumstances.

[zunesareawesome]

This is not a creepy face covering up a sulky face. [He tries to soften the look but it just makes his smile all that more aggressive.]

How would you like it if you were a giant ball of rock and you thought your friend was gonna come back and help you and every time you heard a noise you’re like, ‘Hey! It’s my friend’ but it’s not, it’s just the wind?’ Rinse and repeat like 50 times.

[Yes, Flynn, he is a space pirate, but he’s also an Actual Puppy.]

[cahooted]

I just said I was sorry.

[Flynn exhales softly, trying to fight down the storm of ambivalent emotions threatening to rise up. Peter's question makes him feel really bad and guilty on the one hand, and utterly defensive on the other. But really, Flynn should just let it go.

Peter is just lashing out. Stephen has operated on him while he was awake and he's hurting.

He's just lashing out. Dealing with the planet thing.]

I don't know. How did you like it?

[zunesareawesome]

[Flynn did say he was sorry. But he’s right—Peter finds him a convenient target, someone who he can blame for something, because as much as he wants to blame Stephen, he can’t. Even if part of him wanted to hate him, was terrified of him. He blamed the town of course, but the town didn’t have a face.

He didn’t think.]

It sucked! It was awful! I had no arms and legs and I got really dizzy easy and I was just waiting there and it was just weird and I was... [Alone. Like his dad.]

[cahooted]

[Well, despite all understanding, after bringing himself to listen to Peter's horror stories Flynn can't say that this isn't incredibly hurtful.

He's just hurting. He doesn't mean it.

Still, Flynn feels a growing resentment, jaw clenching painfully because he himself is not alright, the events of the last days and his own jumbled memories tearing at him just as much.]

And that's my fault?

[zunesareawesome]

Well no, that part’s not your fault—I thought you were super good at finding things!

[This wasn’t fair to Flynn. He stops, wanting to berate him further, drive him away, when he remembered how Rocket did the same thing when he didn’t want people to get close to him, when he was afraid.

Kinda like Yondu.

He pinches the bridge of his nose.]

You didn’t see him, did you? Yondu?

[He’s still confused about what that was all about, but it seemed like, in the end, Yondu—some weird unreal version of him—had his light. He was supposed to kill him to get his light back. Maybe that’s why Flynn never found his light.]

[cahooted]

I am! [Flynn's voice starts to rise now, too, anger slipping into his inflection. He can't help it, not when Peter's remark takes such a painful point blank into his insecurities.]

And no, I didn't see Yondu. Whatever that has to do with anything. Is that my fault, too?