[Snowblind] IC Inbox

[cahooted]

This is Flynn. Hi!

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[cahooted]

[Well, despite all understanding, after bringing himself to listen to Peter's horror stories Flynn can't say that this isn't incredibly hurtful.

He's just hurting. He doesn't mean it.

Still, Flynn feels a growing resentment, jaw clenching painfully because he himself is not alright, the events of the last days and his own jumbled memories tearing at him just as much.]

And that's my fault?

[zunesareawesome]

Well no, that part’s not your fault—I thought you were super good at finding things!

[This wasn’t fair to Flynn. He stops, wanting to berate him further, drive him away, when he remembered how Rocket did the same thing when he didn’t want people to get close to him, when he was afraid.

Kinda like Yondu.

He pinches the bridge of his nose.]

You didn’t see him, did you? Yondu?

[He’s still confused about what that was all about, but it seemed like, in the end, Yondu—some weird unreal version of him—had his light. He was supposed to kill him to get his light back. Maybe that’s why Flynn never found his light.]

[cahooted]

I am! [Flynn's voice starts to rise now, too, anger slipping into his inflection. He can't help it, not when Peter's remark takes such a painful point blank into his insecurities.]

And no, I didn't see Yondu. Whatever that has to do with anything. Is that my fault, too?

[zunesareawesome]

--well, maybe if y'stayed, you would have seen Yondu. I think--I think he had my light in the end, and I was supposed to kill him to take it back.

[His voice balks, the memories filtering in more clearly.]

[cahooted]

If I would have-- You're kidding, right? This is... is this some kind of joke?

[Flynn works his jaw, trying to keep it together, trying to focus on the actual problem.

doesn't mean it doesn't mean it doesn't mean it]

... Did you?

[zunesareawesome]

No--I mean, I didn't want you to stay in a place that you could get run over, I meant, maybe we coulda figured something else out and gone together, you just a little bit ahead or on top of something.

[He's going to die on this non-existent hill.]

God, no, of course not. I couldn't do that. Not even for my light.

[cahooted]

Walking ahead? You chased me!

[He is not putting up with this sulky logic any longer.]

And on top of what? I was on top of something! You wrecked it!

[zunesareawesome]

Well, maybe we coulda found something a little more sturdy!

[Stop poking holes in his poor argument.]

[cahooted]

It was a building, Peter! The floor came down!

[Will you just stop with this!]

[zunesareawesome]

[Never.]

There were other buildings! [Somewhere.]

[cahooted]

Yes, I know! That's where I went!

[He throws his hands up in frustration.] That is exactly what I did!

[zunesareawesome]

Yeah but I coulda came along!

[cahooted]

You know that's not true.

Stop taking it out on me! It's not my fault!

[zunesareawesome]

It didn’t have to—

[He balks, too caught up in being upset and Flynn being the cause of that upset that he didn’t realize how mad Flynn had gotten. His brows furrowed, no matter what happened he shouldn’t have...besides, Flynn apologized for it.

He just was upset at being left alone. His loneliness was pronounced perhaps as an effect of him being an anomaly, echoing what his father must have felt all those millions of years.]

...no, it wasn’t your fault. [His voice is far more quiet.] I’m sorry.

[cahooted]

[Flynn squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, pressing his knuckles to his head and taking a couple of deep breaths.]

It's fine. [Exhaling audibly he looks back up again in an attempt to diffuse the situation.] You're upset, I know. I shouldn't have yelled.

[zunesareawesome]

No, I was being a jerk, you have every right to yell.

[It’s fine, Flynn, that’s how he and the Guardians usually rolled.]

[cahooted]

[Is it? It's not how he rolls, not yet anyway, so this is a little awkward for Flynn. There is so much yelling involved in this relationship, Peter, it's so weird. He's used to banter-y not yell-y.]

Yeah, you were, that was really not cool. [He leans back against the wall, not sure what to do with all that pent up emotion.] But I am sorry for not finding your light. I should have.

[zunesareawesome]

[Peter’s really kinda new to the whole actually-being-a-good-person-and-putting-other-people’s-needs-first and a pang of guilt hits him. Realizing where he’s messed up is hard.]

It’s this town, man. Don’t beat yourself up over it.

[cahooted]

I know.

I know, I know, it's always the town, it's always this town. [His hand lashes out, causing the book pile to fall over. He immediately reaches out to pick them up again, drawing them a little closer.]

So what is it, are you angry with me or not? Because this is very confusing.

[zunesareawesome]

Well, it's true...

[He gives a half-shrug.]

I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the stupid situation. The town. [A sigh.]

I really am sorry.

[cahooted]

I'm sorry, too. I guess I'm a little irritable as well, all these memories are so confusing?

[Flynn exhales, hugging the book he just picked up to his chest.]

How are you holding up?

[zunesareawesome]

Yeah. They can’t both be real at the same time. But it feels like it.

[Is this what losing control of your mind felt like?]

Better than earlier. Are you okay? God, this has to stop somehow. It’s like when we thought we lived here forever.

[cahooted]

Yeah, I'm fine. Just... trying to sort through my head, you know?

[That's putting it mildly but somehow it doesn't feel right to dump his problems on a friend who came for aid because he was cut open and stuffed full of wires right now.]

... Did I ever get around to tell you about Epicurus?

[zunesareawesome]

Well, good luck. [It’s said in an honest and not sarcastic way. He really did hope Flynn had a better time of doing it than himself.]

Eppy-whothewhatnow? Nope.

[cahooted]

Epicurus. One of the major philosophers in the Hellenistic period. Father of epicureanism, a philosophical school opposed to stoicism.

[Flynn settles back, drawing his blanket around his shoulders.]

Epicurus was all about hedonistic ethics, meaning he regarded happiness as the highest good one could obtain, the goal a person should aspire to.

[Maybe the right school of philosophy to talk about today.]