[He balks, too caught up in being upset and Flynn being the cause of that upset that he didn’t realize how mad Flynn had gotten. His brows furrowed, no matter what happened he shouldn’t have...besides, Flynn apologized for it.
He just was upset at being left alone. His loneliness was pronounced perhaps as an effect of him being an anomaly, echoing what his father must have felt all those millions of years.]
...no, it wasn’t your fault. [His voice is far more quiet.] I’m sorry.
[Is it? It's not how he rolls, not yet anyway, so this is a little awkward for Flynn. There is so much yelling involved in this relationship, Peter, it's so weird. He's used to banter-y not yell-y.]
Yeah, you were, that was really not cool. [He leans back against the wall, not sure what to do with all that pent up emotion.] But I am sorry for not finding your light. I should have.
[Peter’s really kinda new to the whole actually-being-a-good-person-and-putting-other-people’s-needs-first and a pang of guilt hits him. Realizing where he’s messed up is hard.]
It’s this town, man. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
I know, I know, it's always the town, it's always this town. [His hand lashes out, causing the book pile to fall over. He immediately reaches out to pick them up again, drawing them a little closer.]
So what is it, are you angry with me or not? Because this is very confusing.
Yeah, I'm fine. Just... trying to sort through my head, you know?
[That's putting it mildly but somehow it doesn't feel right to dump his problems on a friend who came for aid because he was cut open and stuffed full of wires right now.]
... Did I ever get around to tell you about Epicurus?
Thought you'd like that. [Flynn gives a small smile.] Though, not exactly. To him, happiness was the absence of physical pain and mental disturbance. [Which would be so nice right now.]
Everything we do, he claims, we do for the sake of gaining pleasure for ourselves. Problem is, as we get older we lose track of what really makes us happy. Fear of punishment, of the gods, of death inhibit us, make us seek out pleasures we think we want? But won't actually fulfill us in the end.
He actually proclaimed that humans should not live in fear of the gods which at the time was pretty revolutionary.
[Stop you're losing him you're making him think this is hard he's about to fall asleep again. He stares for a little too long, about to nod off, before continuing.]
Explains a lot of the older Ravager guys I've seen that get grumpy in their old age.
[Peter blinks, caught completely off guard. He has to think about it for a minute.]
...my friends, I think. And flying, of course, piloting my ship. Candy. Hot babes. I mean, not so much random babes anymore, there's someone that I...yeah, her. She makes me happy.
[Imagining his mom was proud of him. Him telling her he saved the galaxy--twice even--and her laughing and calling him her little Star-Lord.
Imagining things like that made him happy.
God, he was gonna get choked up again. He clears his throat.]
[Flynn smiles at Peter's list and the subtle transition from 'hot babes' to something more personal and real.]
I don't know.
[He rests his chin on top of the book in his arms.]
Learning. Learning makes me happy. [Learning will always make him happy.] I used to think it's the only thing I need and then I became a Librarian and then that made me happy. And miserable, and stressed, and lonely but... happy. I just want to do right by it all.
Learning, really? [Peter smirks, but it's not mean.] God, you're such a smart guy, but I mean that in the nicest possible way. [He's so used to dealing with outlaws and practical people that the only intellectuals he knew were a scarce amount of his contacts to sell things to.]
Come on, learning is the greatest feeling in the world. There's just so much knowledge out there we don't know. So much history! All the languages? And cultures. Art!
[He exhales, deflating a little.]
Well, I... back in my world I can't tell anyone about what I'm doing and I'm very busy so... it can be.
Learning is haaaarrddd. [A whine. He thinks all it has to do with is memorization and boring things.]
Art is great when it gets me money, I guess. I actually know a little bit about it because of...things. [Totally didn't steal fancy art to sell it on the black market nope.]
It's like you have a secret identity. That sucks, dude. I mean, secret identities are cool when you have someone to share the secret with. Do you have like, a sidekick or anything?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
Stop taking it out on me! It's not my fault!
no subject
[He balks, too caught up in being upset and Flynn being the cause of that upset that he didn’t realize how mad Flynn had gotten. His brows furrowed, no matter what happened he shouldn’t have...besides, Flynn apologized for it.
He just was upset at being left alone. His loneliness was pronounced perhaps as an effect of him being an anomaly, echoing what his father must have felt all those millions of years.]
...no, it wasn’t your fault. [His voice is far more quiet.] I’m sorry.
no subject
It's fine. [Exhaling audibly he looks back up again in an attempt to diffuse the situation.] You're upset, I know. I shouldn't have yelled.
no subject
[It’s fine, Flynn, that’s how he and the Guardians usually rolled.]
no subject
Yeah, you were, that was really not cool. [He leans back against the wall, not sure what to do with all that pent up emotion.] But I am sorry for not finding your light. I should have.
no subject
It’s this town, man. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
no subject
I know, I know, it's always the town, it's always this town. [His hand lashes out, causing the book pile to fall over. He immediately reaches out to pick them up again, drawing them a little closer.]
So what is it, are you angry with me or not? Because this is very confusing.
no subject
[He gives a half-shrug.]
I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the stupid situation. The town. [A sigh.]
I really am sorry.
no subject
[Flynn exhales, hugging the book he just picked up to his chest.]
How are you holding up?
no subject
[Is this what losing control of your mind felt like?]
Better than earlier. Are you okay? God, this has to stop somehow. It’s like when we thought we lived here forever.
no subject
[That's putting it mildly but somehow it doesn't feel right to dump his problems on a friend who came for aid because he was cut open and stuffed full of wires right now.]
... Did I ever get around to tell you about Epicurus?
no subject
Eppy-whothewhatnow? Nope.
no subject
[Flynn settles back, drawing his blanket around his shoulders.]
Epicurus was all about hedonistic ethics, meaning he regarded happiness as the highest good one could obtain, the goal a person should aspire to.
[Maybe the right school of philosophy to talk about today.]
no subject
You mean living it up for the sake of living it up like there's no tomorrow? My man.
no subject
Thought you'd like that. [Flynn gives a small smile.] Though, not exactly. To him, happiness was the absence of physical pain and mental disturbance. [Which would be so nice right now.]
Everything we do, he claims, we do for the sake of gaining pleasure for ourselves. Problem is, as we get older we lose track of what really makes us happy. Fear of punishment, of the gods, of death inhibit us, make us seek out pleasures we think we want? But won't actually fulfill us in the end.
He actually proclaimed that humans should not live in fear of the gods which at the time was pretty revolutionary.
no subject
Huh. That's...interesting...
[Stop you're losing him you're making him think this is hard he's about to fall asleep again. He stares for a little too long, about to nod off, before continuing.]
Explains a lot of the older Ravager guys I've seen that get grumpy in their old age.
no subject
Yeah, maybe.
What makes you happy?
no subject
...what?
[Peter blinks, caught completely off guard. He has to think about it for a minute.]
...my friends, I think. And flying, of course, piloting my ship. Candy. Hot babes. I mean, not so much random babes anymore, there's someone that I...yeah, her. She makes me happy.
[Imagining his mom was proud of him. Him telling her he saved the galaxy--twice even--and her laughing and calling him her little Star-Lord.
Imagining things like that made him happy.
God, he was gonna get choked up again. He clears his throat.]
How about you?
no subject
I don't know.
[He rests his chin on top of the book in his arms.]
Learning. Learning makes me happy. [Learning will always make him happy.] I used to think it's the only thing I need and then I became a Librarian and then that made me happy. And miserable, and stressed, and lonely but... happy. I just want to do right by it all.
no subject
It's lonely being the Librarian?
no subject
[He exhales, deflating a little.]
Well, I... back in my world I can't tell anyone about what I'm doing and I'm very busy so... it can be.
no subject
Art is great when it gets me money, I guess. I actually know a little bit about it because of...things. [Totally didn't steal fancy art to sell it on the black market nope.]
It's like you have a secret identity. That sucks, dude. I mean, secret identities are cool when you have someone to share the secret with. Do you have like, a sidekick or anything?
no subject
No, I don't have a sidekick. [It's clipped and a little abrupt and he looks away for a moment.] I have a... mentor but I go on missions alone.
no subject
[Teach him to like learning, Flynn!]
That's too bad. [Hmm.]
A mentor? Like Obi-Wan? Because that would be awesome.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
oh no
help
can't stop won't stop
pls
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)