[Flynn exhales softly, trying to fight down the storm of ambivalent emotions threatening to rise up. Peter's question makes him feel really bad and guilty on the one hand, and utterly defensive on the other. But really, Flynn should just let it go.
Peter is just lashing out. Stephen has operated on him while he was awake and he's hurting.
He's just lashing out. Dealing with the planet thing.]
[Flynn did say he was sorry. But he’s right—Peter finds him a convenient target, someone who he can blame for something, because as much as he wants to blame Stephen, he can’t. Even if part of him wanted to hate him, was terrified of him. He blamed the town of course, but the town didn’t have a face.
He didn’t think.]
It sucked! It was awful! I had no arms and legs and I got really dizzy easy and I was just waiting there and it was just weird and I was... [Alone. Like his dad.]
[Well, despite all understanding, after bringing himself to listen to Peter's horror stories Flynn can't say that this isn't incredibly hurtful.
He's just hurting. He doesn't mean it.
Still, Flynn feels a growing resentment, jaw clenching painfully because he himself is not alright, the events of the last days and his own jumbled memories tearing at him just as much.]
Well no, that part’s not your fault—I thought you were super good at finding things!
[This wasn’t fair to Flynn. He stops, wanting to berate him further, drive him away, when he remembered how Rocket did the same thing when he didn’t want people to get close to him, when he was afraid.
Kinda like Yondu.
He pinches the bridge of his nose.]
You didn’t see him, did you? Yondu?
[He’s still confused about what that was all about, but it seemed like, in the end, Yondu—some weird unreal version of him—had his light. He was supposed to kill him to get his light back. Maybe that’s why Flynn never found his light.]
I am! [Flynn's voice starts to rise now, too, anger slipping into his inflection. He can't help it, not when Peter's remark takes such a painful point blank into his insecurities.]
And no, I didn't see Yondu. Whatever that has to do with anything. Is that my fault, too?
No--I mean, I didn't want you to stay in a place that you could get run over, I meant, maybe we coulda figured something else out and gone together, you just a little bit ahead or on top of something.
[He's going to die on this non-existent hill.]
God, no, of course not. I couldn't do that. Not even for my light.
[He balks, too caught up in being upset and Flynn being the cause of that upset that he didn’t realize how mad Flynn had gotten. His brows furrowed, no matter what happened he shouldn’t have...besides, Flynn apologized for it.
He just was upset at being left alone. His loneliness was pronounced perhaps as an effect of him being an anomaly, echoing what his father must have felt all those millions of years.]
...no, it wasn’t your fault. [His voice is far more quiet.] I’m sorry.
[Is it? It's not how he rolls, not yet anyway, so this is a little awkward for Flynn. There is so much yelling involved in this relationship, Peter, it's so weird. He's used to banter-y not yell-y.]
Yeah, you were, that was really not cool. [He leans back against the wall, not sure what to do with all that pent up emotion.] But I am sorry for not finding your light. I should have.
[Peter’s really kinda new to the whole actually-being-a-good-person-and-putting-other-people’s-needs-first and a pang of guilt hits him. Realizing where he’s messed up is hard.]
It’s this town, man. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
I know, I know, it's always the town, it's always this town. [His hand lashes out, causing the book pile to fall over. He immediately reaches out to pick them up again, drawing them a little closer.]
So what is it, are you angry with me or not? Because this is very confusing.
Yeah, I'm fine. Just... trying to sort through my head, you know?
[That's putting it mildly but somehow it doesn't feel right to dump his problems on a friend who came for aid because he was cut open and stuffed full of wires right now.]
... Did I ever get around to tell you about Epicurus?
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[Flynn exhales softly, trying to fight down the storm of ambivalent emotions threatening to rise up. Peter's question makes him feel really bad and guilty on the one hand, and utterly defensive on the other. But really, Flynn should just let it go.
Peter is just lashing out. Stephen has operated on him while he was awake and he's hurting.
He's just lashing out. Dealing with the planet thing.]
I don't know. How did you like it?
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He didn’t think.]
It sucked! It was awful! I had no arms and legs and I got really dizzy easy and I was just waiting there and it was just weird and I was... [Alone. Like his dad.]
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He's just hurting. He doesn't mean it.
Still, Flynn feels a growing resentment, jaw clenching painfully because he himself is not alright, the events of the last days and his own jumbled memories tearing at him just as much.]
And that's my fault?
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[This wasn’t fair to Flynn. He stops, wanting to berate him further, drive him away, when he remembered how Rocket did the same thing when he didn’t want people to get close to him, when he was afraid.
Kinda like Yondu.
He pinches the bridge of his nose.]
You didn’t see him, did you? Yondu?
[He’s still confused about what that was all about, but it seemed like, in the end, Yondu—some weird unreal version of him—had his light. He was supposed to kill him to get his light back. Maybe that’s why Flynn never found his light.]
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And no, I didn't see Yondu. Whatever that has to do with anything. Is that my fault, too?
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[His voice balks, the memories filtering in more clearly.]
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[Flynn works his jaw, trying to keep it together, trying to focus on the actual problem.
doesn't mean it doesn't mean it doesn't mean it]
... Did you?
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[He's going to die on this non-existent hill.]
God, no, of course not. I couldn't do that. Not even for my light.
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[He is not putting up with this sulky logic any longer.]
And on top of what? I was on top of something! You wrecked it!
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[Stop poking holes in his poor argument.]
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[Will you just stop with this!]
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There were other buildings! [Somewhere.]
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[He throws his hands up in frustration.] That is exactly what I did!
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Stop taking it out on me! It's not my fault!
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[He balks, too caught up in being upset and Flynn being the cause of that upset that he didn’t realize how mad Flynn had gotten. His brows furrowed, no matter what happened he shouldn’t have...besides, Flynn apologized for it.
He just was upset at being left alone. His loneliness was pronounced perhaps as an effect of him being an anomaly, echoing what his father must have felt all those millions of years.]
...no, it wasn’t your fault. [His voice is far more quiet.] I’m sorry.
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It's fine. [Exhaling audibly he looks back up again in an attempt to diffuse the situation.] You're upset, I know. I shouldn't have yelled.
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[It’s fine, Flynn, that’s how he and the Guardians usually rolled.]
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Yeah, you were, that was really not cool. [He leans back against the wall, not sure what to do with all that pent up emotion.] But I am sorry for not finding your light. I should have.
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It’s this town, man. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
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I know, I know, it's always the town, it's always this town. [His hand lashes out, causing the book pile to fall over. He immediately reaches out to pick them up again, drawing them a little closer.]
So what is it, are you angry with me or not? Because this is very confusing.
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[He gives a half-shrug.]
I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the stupid situation. The town. [A sigh.]
I really am sorry.
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[Flynn exhales, hugging the book he just picked up to his chest.]
How are you holding up?
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[Is this what losing control of your mind felt like?]
Better than earlier. Are you okay? God, this has to stop somehow. It’s like when we thought we lived here forever.
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[That's putting it mildly but somehow it doesn't feel right to dump his problems on a friend who came for aid because he was cut open and stuffed full of wires right now.]
... Did I ever get around to tell you about Epicurus?
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oh no
help
can't stop won't stop
pls
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