cahooted | [PSL] And the Time of Times (for a bunch of people really)

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[PSL] And the Time of Times (for a bunch of people really)

[After going backwards for such a long time Flynn is surprised when the artifact sends him into his own future. And not only that; according to the place it's going to be the future of the Library, too. He sure would love to know why but the Periapt of the Horae doesn't give that kind of explanation. It helps him track Nicole through time and space but it doesn't provide answers; it allows him to make the jumps between the years (or decades, or centuries) but won't let him choose where or when to go next. The artifact gives him one time and place at a time and he has to take it.

He is... 93% sure that once he finds Nicole and the tracking is done, it will allow both of them to jump back to the initial spot where he began his search. Maybe 87% sure. But he'll get to that when the moment arrives.

In the current "now", there's a whooshing sound and then Flynn finds himself in a room that he is, surprisingly enough, completely unfamiliar with. He stumbles through something that looks like a door, but it's connected to a globe and some strange wiring. This isn't the Library, at least not its regular entrance. It looks more like a study, with several desks and stairs leading up to a row of bookshelves.

Walking around he turns in astonished circles. He immediately realizes that he likes it; this is a place he would love to work at and he makes a mental note that once he goes back with Nicole to set up a study like this for himself. Really, that would be so much more convenient than sprawling his notes all over the tables in the main entrance hall and have Charlene berate him over the mess all the time...

There doesn't seem to be anyone here and he explores the room, wondering about the current Librarian. On one desk he spots some books he immediately finds interesting but, curiously enough, there is another table with lots of weird gadgets and experimental setups which makes him think that his successor might be more scientifically inclined than Flynn.

Eventually he moves up the stairs to poke around some more on the balustrade above.]

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He didn't want to do it. He probably never would have told me she was there if he hadn't been absolutely desperate.

[ The sigh he lets out is long and deep. How is it possible for one conversation to be great and terrible all wrapped up in one confusing package? ]

Jenkins found Nicole. I don't know exactly how he did it, but he brought here here, and- Locked her up.

I know you're going to ask why in the world anyone would ever lock her up, but he thought she was working against the Library.

[ He'll get to the question of who the best person to ask is after the storm he thinks is coming has blown over. ]

Lock her up? What do you mean, lock her up?

[He speaks the words slowly, as if that makes them make sense somehow. It doesn't.

Nicole working against the Library? That may just be the most ridiculous thing he has heard on all of his jumps combined. And they were plentiful.]

What's going on?

The first thing you need to know is that if I had known about any of this, I would have stopped it. I wouldn't have let any of it happen.

[ But he supposes he can't blame him any more than he blames himself. ]

Beneath the Library, there's a- well, there's a dungeon. I never knew it was there, never knew where the entrance was, but Jenkins knew.

All he saw was a Guardian stealing artifacts and trying to bring down the Library. Now, I don't believe that for a second. I- We know Nicole, and she would never do something like that.

But Jenkins... He's the caretaker; it's his job to, well, take care of things. And he did.

[ And Flynn's throat has started to constrict, because talking about this is horrible and he just feels so guilty and full of regret. ]

Nicole was in that dungeon for a long time before Jenkins told us about her.

What? [For a moment Flynn's mind just blanks at the audacity of what he's hearing.] Wh-... what are you... what?!

[Despite being stuck in time this Flynn is still young – very young, technically only three months into being the Librarian (technically still on his trial period) – which means there is no armor, no burying of emotions, no shielding, no filter. Everything is right there, at the surface and immediate, an instant reaction to the horrible things he's hearing.]

Nicole Noone bringing down the Library? Do you have any idea how ridiculous that... Secret dungeon, why is there even a secret dungeon in the Library? It's not a jail! [He's pacing, gesturing, hands flying everywhere.] Did she even get a trial? How can you imprison someone without a trial? That is illegal and horrible and who is this guy anyway, since when does the Library even have a caretaker! And that's not taking care of things! [Is he stomping his foot there? Yes, yes he is.] That is like the opposite of taking care of things! Where's Judson? Where's Nicole?

[His hands close into fists that he angrily strikes up and down against his sides looking like the world's most agitated jumping-jack.]

Why are you so calm!

[ He knew this was going to happen. Of course he did. If he were in his younger self's shoes, he'd react the same way. Of course he would, because again, same man. Same reactions. Same everything.

He holds out a hand in a placating gesture. ]

I didn't buy any of it. How could I? I know Nicole as well as you do, for obvious reasons. And as for the secret dungeon, I really have no idea how or when that was put there. Or even who put that there.

[ Skating right past the question about a trial, because he's willing to bet there wasn't one. ]

Nicole left. I know why she did, of course, because after being held in a dungeon for so long, why would she stick around?

[ He sighs. ]

I've had longer to think about this than you have.

[ And that earns him an apologetic look. He also won't be answering the question about Judson unless pressed. Or pressed against the nearest wall. Same thing. It all boils down to the fact that he won't talk about it unless his younger self corners him. Preferably not literally. ]

[That placating gesture is doing nothing for the younger Flynn. If anything it makes him even angrier because held in a dungeon, how can his older self even say that with a straight face? Not to mention that whatever Flynn does or says seems to be expected, anticipated even, which leaves a sour taste in his mouth. It's like his other self has a chance to shield himself from his outrage and that's not fair, it's not right.]

Oh, she left? Oh, that's, okay? Like, what, she got sick of being imprisoned or what are you trying to, to, are you even listening to yourself?

[He's gesturing back and forth between them with a look of confused incredulity.] What is wrong with you? What is this? Does that usually work for you, because it's not working for me?!

[And you just bet he's registering exactly which questions the other is skirting around here.]

If you had longer to think about this you should be even angrier! Left to where? How can you possibly not know? Where is Judson?

[Is he asking again because he can absolutely tell there is something in the other's face and his not answering the question? Maybe.]

Hey, this is not-!

[ He breaks himself off there, because he can't finish that sentence. It would be a complete lie too. This is his fault, going back to how he handled HG Wells' time machine. Nicole being lost is his fault, as is all of the fallout that came from that.

But what Jenkins did is not his fault nor his responsibility, and he really, really doesn't like the way his younger self is talking to him right now. ]

I am listening to myself! I didn't put Nicole in that cell. Don't you think if I knew she was there, I'd have gone down there and gotten her out?

Usually I don't talk to myself! And if I do, I don't yell back. Or at myself.

[ He sputters angrily and throws his hands up in the air, because he's not making any sense.

There's a reason why everyone always warns about time travel, and that reason is standing right in front of him. ]

She just left! Do I wish she'd stayed? Of course. But-

[ It's Nicole's choice. He has no right to dictate what she does. He doesn't blame her for leaving. Sentences swarm around his mind, but none of them seem like the right thing to say, or the right thing to sum up his feelings. ]

It wasn't up to me.

[ And now his face is just going to fall a little, because talking about Judson is still not easy for him. ]

Judson is- [ His voice fails him again, but he clears his throat and continues, looking anywhere but at his younger self. This admission will probably get him yelled at again, but he can't hold back the truth, not from himself. ] Judson's gone.

Well, I talk to myself all the time! Which you should know because apparently you know everything!

[All of this is taking place in rapid real time. The moment his older self utters half a sentence, an explanation, Flynn is already in there, interjecting, talking with him, over him, whatever you want to call it. This entire conversation is a mess.]

You are not explaining anything! You have not explained how she got from being in the cell to not being in the cell to making a very informed decision to leave! That is a considerable omission in the general state of things!

[But at least Flynn can tell that his older self is telling the truth; he didn't want this. Any of this. And why would he? They are still the same person.

And there's more, Flynn can sense the hurt and outrage under the strange mask and stoic--

Okay, well, there goes the stoic as his future self's hands go flying and it's actually... nice to see the emotions break through. It makes the other appear less like a weird pod person version of himself.]

So what are you doing about it now? Where is she? How do I find her?

[But when the back and forth and finishing each other's sentences gets to Judson he freezes. It's like the fight suddenly goes out of him and he stares, incredulity, more anger and... a sudden fear mixing together.]

Gone? What do you-- what do you mean, gone?

I don't know everything! And do you know how hard that is to admit? [ But if he can't be honest with himself, then who can he be honest with? ] There is a vast difference between talking to myself and actually, literally talking to myself!

[ In other words, this is so many different levels of weird. ]

Fine, you want me to explain? I'll explain. [ Sort of. ] Jenkins tracked her down, I don't even know how he did that, discovered what she was doing, really disapproved of it, and put her in that cell. Then there was a situation involving the Order of the Shadows. They wanted to destroy the Library by using the Cornerstones of the Library of Alexandria.

Nicole hid them a hundred years ago, and we needed her help to find them before the Order got ahold of all of them. It worked; we found them all in time, and the Order's plan failed.

[ And some other stuff happened, followed by more stuff, and then Nicole left. Which of course he knows won't be an acceptable answer. ]

And then there was another situation that got really complicated and Eve left to find Nicole- Wait. You don't know who Eve is. She's my new Guardian. She's really good at her job.

[ In case he has any doubts about that. ]

Anyway, Eve went to find Nicole, some things got sorted out, and Nicole made the decision to leave.

[ Noooot admitting the part about how Nicole almost was lost again, and what happened to fix that particular problem. ]

She wanted to live a life on her terms. I honestly don't know what she's going to choose to do, but if she wants to contact me, she will. I don't know where she went.

[ Sorry, past-self, he can't be more helpful. And then there's the bombshell about Judson. ]

You're not going to like hearing this.

[That...

To say that all of this is a lot to take in would be the understatement of the century. Flynn listens, opening his mouth from time to time but then a new piece of information is tossed on to the pile – the awful, horrible pile of bad news – and he goes back to pacing aimlessly.]

I'm not? You mean, next to all the other outrageous things that I really don't like hearing because really, I feel like we should introduce a scale at some point?

Where would you place what I'm about to hear on, let's say, oh, maybe "he obviously only let Nicole out of her cell because you needed her help"?

[ In a way, he regrets that this is happening. It really is a lot to take in, and unlike him who's had time to process most of it, his past self doesn't have that luxury. But, he knows he probably wouldn't have it any other way. He'd want to know everything, the good, the bad, and the absolutely horrible. ][ He sighs. ]

I'd place it somewhere on "the one thing I never imagined would happen". Judson is- Well, Judson's moved on.

[ He can't bring himself to say that Judson's dead. The way his mouth tightens as he says those words should clue his past self into the fact that he means something more permanent than just relocating to a new location. Of all people, his past self ought to pick up on the full meaning. ]

Moved on?

[Even the words feel hollow when he echoes them. The realization comes crashing down shortly after and he freezes. Yes, he understands; it's more than clear from the way his other self is behaving but... that can't be right?]

I don't understand. What... what happened? Were you attacked?

Yes. The Serpent Brotherhood got into the Library, and Judson broke the chain connecting the Library to our reality. It literally folded up and- kind of disappeared.

[ He's a little vague on exactly what Judson did by breaking the connection, but the one thing he's not unclear on is that the Library vanished. ]

But, that's jumping ahead a little. He, uh, he died. [ And there's a stab of emotion he wasn't prepared for.

Talking about this is never easy, for obvious reasons. ]

Oh, he was still around, and he could still appear in mirrors whenever he had something he wanted to say. But then the thing with the Serpent Brotherhood happened, and, well-

[ He just stops there with a shrug. Of course none of this is going to be easy for his younger self to digest. He knows that, and he wishes it were different, that he had a different story to tell, but there's no arguing with the facts. ]

[Died.

And there it is. Flynn feels like the ground under his feet crumbles and his throat constricts.]

I'm sorry.

[When he had stumbled into the Annex, one of Flynn's first thought had been with Judson. Seeing him again, trying to explain why he took the Periapt and hoping that he wouldn't bee too angry with him. But even if he were, after his long, long search Flynn had been exhilarated by the thought of just seeing him again, maybe seeking out his counsel.

And now that wouldn't happen.

At that, he feels a sudden desolate homesickness. Suddenly he just wants to go home, with Nicole, and order take-out for all of them. Wants to not be here, wants to not be jumping around in time, wants this to just be fixed and sit with her and Judson and Charlene, who will complain about delivery to the Library.

He turns away for a moment because he doesn't want to be read on this, doesn't want to cry in front of the other but keeping his emotions in check has never been a strong suit; about a thing like this it's pretty much impossible.]

No, I'm sorry. Sorry you had to find out like this.

[ He knows how he must be feeling, because he's feeling much of the same thing right now, as if losing Judson just happened yesterday. And he can't even begin to get into talking about Charlene or- Or something much worse and much more personal than either of those two losses. ]

You know, it's going to sound absolutely insane, but maybe it won't happen to you the same way it did to me. Timelines can be changed, can't they? [ Not exactly, and not in all circumstances, but- part of him wants his younger, past self to have a happier timeline than the one that he's a part of. ]

Maybe the Serpent Brotherhood can be stopped. Maybe- [ Old age can't be stopped. But he thought Judson would be around for a long time to come. His breath hitches and he turns his head away just slightly, just for a second. He's supposed to be the strong one, and the last person who needs to see him lose control, however briefly, is his past, impressionable self. ]

[Flynn's heart aches when he can't help but see his own feelings mirrored in the other man; it's impossible to tune out or ignore, like his own pain is amplified with the strange connection that they have.

But the words stick with him and break through the fog of loss and loneliness. Timelines can be changed. He's right. That's why he is here, to find Nicole and undo that horrible mistake he made. What his older self tells him doesn't sound all that crazy to Flynn, after all, he has broken rules and safety precautions and he's standing here right now, hearing about his own future. There's a good chance he already did change the timeline.]

Right.

[Yes, he needs to fix this. Taking a deep breath he quickly rubs his face with his sleeve.]

I'll do that. I'll stop them, I'll make this right.

[It's not entirely clear if he's making that promise to his counterpart or himself. It's simple, naive and innocent, but also stubborn, almost matter-of-fact. Kind of like stealing an artifact and jumping through time, he doesn't question it. It's something he needs to do now.]

[ There are so many things he regrets. What happened with Nicole, losing Judson, losing Charlene, losing his mother... And that last one is a subject he will never be able to broach with his past self. He's got too big of a lump in his throat already, having talked about Nicole and now about Judson to even consider being able to mention her.

So, while it might be the world's biggest long shot, if his past self can somehow change the timeline, change what is his reality, then maybe his personal list of regrets will be just that much shorter. ]

Good luck. If anyone has a chance of doing it, it's you.

[ Or us, he almost adds, except for the fact that he did a really great job with his timeline the first time around. ]

Thanks.

[On some level, Flynn can read that one particular loss off him but his subconsciousness clamps shut at the mere possibility, repressing even the idea of asking about that. It's just too much.]

So what now?

[During the sudden pause Flynn realizes that they have kind of veered off-topic here and for a moment he gets lost in his head, all the swirling bits and pieces of information presented to him just now making him dizzy.]

... Are you gonna help me find her?

[ Of course he can read it off him. It's not something he can easily hide. But perhaps it's better if they not talk about it. A mutual breakdown is the last thing they really need right now. Or ever. ]

I don't know.

[ He stares at his past self for a few seconds, as if that brief period of time will help him come to a conclusion about what he should do. Nicole doesn't want to be found, at least not by him, but what about the past him? Would helping him find her be breaking some kind of unspoken promise to Nicole? ]

You do know she won't be easily found, right? She doesn't want to be found by anyone attached to the Library.

[ Just so he knows it won't be as simple as looking up an address and knocking on her door. ]

... But I guess that I can help you look.

[There is something particularly distressing about the idea that Nicole Noone of all people doesn't want to be found by anyone from the Library. Nicole, who slapped him just for talking doubtfully about himself. It's wrong on so many levels and he can't seem to find a way to direct the diffuse sense of anger that comes with it.]

Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take.

[If she tells him to go to hell, then... well, no, if she tells him that his heart would probably shatter into a million pieces like nothing else could ever make it break but that possibility won't stop him from trying. Not after all this time.

Maybe when they go back they can make it right. All the ways in which the Library and people affiliated with it seem to have screwed up. Flynn at least is determined to see to that.]

Thank you. ... Where do we start?

I was hoping you might say that.

[ Because in the time he's been talking to his younger self, he came to a conclusion. Nicole might be ready to say goodbye to him, but he's not ready to do the same to her. For him, it feels like he hasn't yet gotten closure, and maybe by doing this, he'll get there. ]

The thing is, I don't know where she went. Like I said, she doesn't want to be found. So it won't be easy, but there must be a record of her somewhere. She- Well, she's lived a long time, so she must have left some kind of mark somewhere in the pages of history.

[ And as if reading his mind, the clippings book's pages start to flip, and the sound of it catches Flynn's attention. ]

What is that?

[Flynn leans over the balustrade, glancing down.]

There's a book down there doing magic.

[Which, granted, isn't that strange considering they're in the Library, but...]

Is it supposed to do that?

That? That is the clippings book, and yes, it's supposed to do that. The new Librarians use it to give them leads for new cases. Sometimes it's about an artifact that's being used, other times, it's about strange occurrences. And right now, it's trying to tell us something.

[ He heads right for the book, pausing for just a second to give Flynn time to catch up, since dashing for the book without a look back seems- well, rude. Sometimes the rudeness just happens, but it's never intentional, except when it is. Right now isn't one of those times, although if the book is trying to tell him something about Nicole, it's taking a lot of willpower to not leave his past self in the dust. ]

Tell us... you think it's trying to tell us something about Nicole?!

[That's enough to get him moving and he hurries along excitedly and down the stairs where both of them learn that it's very difficult to dash down a staircase simultaneously. Somehow they manage not to break their necks in the process and then there they are, hunched over the glowing book.]

This is weird. It's like an 8-ball but for Library cases. Can you ask it questions? [He leans down towards the book.] Hello?

I don't know, but there's a very good chance of it!

[ Once they're safely in front of the book, he peers closely at its pages. ]

It's better than an 8-ball, but unfortunately, it doesn't talk back. [ He smiles at his younger self's attempt to do just that, though. ]

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