cahooted | [PSL] The Return to King Solomon's Mines Ultimate Fix It (for slapthelibrarian)

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[PSL] The Return to King Solomon's Mines Ultimate Fix It (for slapthelibrarian)

"Yeah, you know what, I really don't think we should cross that."

It's a moot point, of course, and Flynn doesn't mean it because there is no way he's turning back now. Part of him wonders if he should tell Nicole about his conversation with Judson and mention that Judson had explicitly instructed him to stay away from this place. But this isn't an ordinary mission and Flynn isn't in his ordinary state of mind. And who knew, maybe Judson had contacted Nicole already and she is just humoring Flynn. If she is, nothing in her face gives it away and he loves her just a little for that.

It's been... difficult to focus with all the questions raging in his head.

Had his father ever been affiliated with the Library? It doesn't seem likely; but if he hadn't, how did Judson know about the Book of Solomon? And did it mean that if Flynn hadn't become the Librarian, he would have become one of the Masons? Were the Masons linked to the Library? Did his mother know? Because honestly, finding his drawings in his bag right when he needed them had just been a tiny little bit suspicious, is all.

And that bridge really shouldn't work.

There are no support beams, it's just that, a stony path over a pit of lava (the biggest pit of lava he has ever seen, actually, and he has seen... four so far) and, no. This isn't rotten wood territory, this is challenging the actual laws of physics. It's just not how bridges work.

"That is just not how bridges work."

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And then it registers with Nicole what's driving Flynn. All of this is born from his insecurities, from his worries that he's not good enough for this job or for her. It's foolishness, of course, because the Library chose him, and she chose to stay with him. She chose to be more than just his Guardian; she allowed herself to love him when everything in her was telling her to never let her walls down that way ever again.

He's the one who wormed his way into her heart with his awkward brand of charm, his smiles that leave her rather weak at the knees, and a thousand other little things that she just loves about him.

"You're already everything the Library needs and more besides. Can't you see that?" It cuts deeply at her to realize he can't or doesn't. "You don't need to be better!" She realizes she's practically begging now, a thing she's never done in her life except for one other terrible time, but that's how important this is to her, how much she means every word of what she's saying.

"You are not a burden, Flynn!" If she hasn't told him how important, how valuable, and how very much not a burden he is, then this is her fault. She hates to admit it, but if this is really how Flynn feels, then she's failed at one key aspect of being the Guardian: she failed to safeguard and bolster Flynn's mental health.

"Please, you don't need to do this!" Desperation is plain in her voice; if she can't reach him, then no one can. They did not come all this way only for him to be lost to the magic of the Book, but things are not looking good from where Nicole is standing.

Something is wrong. Something is very wrong and Flynn blinks, for the first time realizing the alien sounds in his head as the foreign intrusion that they are. They keep whispering to him, alluring promises of grandeur, of being worthy, of not being afraid.

But he is.

He is so very afraid, always will be, you had to be crazy to do this job and not be. This isn't him. He hasn't suddenly become brave, or heroic, it's just the book making him that way. The whispers in his head become louder, more insisting, as if they can feel his doubts and he tries to block them out, tries to think. His father dying for this book (to keep it safe); Jerry on the ground, snarling as he slowly comes to, rotten by greed and hate and anger; Nicole, looking so unhappy, at him, because of him, because of what he's doing – what is he doing? He's hurting her, somehow, and that's the last thing he wants.

Again his heart goes out to her and it breaks through the fog in his head, makes him feel more like himself again and suddenly he can hear his mother's voice. The things that make life worth living... they can't be thought here. They must be felt... here.

Flynn tries to focus on that. Focus on that what he feels, not the ugly thoughts in his head, of inadequacy of insecurity but the feelings of love. He wants to be better because he loves the Library, and Nicole; Judson, Charlene, this world. It's not about him, it can't be about him. It's about them.

It's always been about them.

"No!" He clutches at his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "Not that! Not like that!" With an angry cry he flings the cursed book from him and over the edge of the plateau, down into the fiery pit below.

A long time ago, when Nicole was still very new to being the Guardian, she had a discussion with Judson about what it meant to fill that role. The words they exchanged that day still remain with her, and they're ringing in her head even now as she watches Flynn with the Book.

The Guardian isn't meant to simply protect the Librarian's life; the Guardian is supposed to protect the Librarian's soul. If she fails to reach Flynn here, then she'll have failed at the task set to her. As she looks on, unfinished sentences chase themselves around Nicole's mind, but none of them feel right or good enough to break through whatever hold the Book has on Flynn.

But as she watches, she thinks she's just spotted the smallest of changes in Flynn's visage. It's small, but it's enough to cause her heart to leap with the hope that maybe he's not as lost to her as she thinks he is. Come on, Flynn, snap out of it...

It startles her when Flynn shouts angrily, grabbing his head as though it hurts. She's about to rush over to him, but it's as though an invisible hand has just grabbed her and is holding her back. Flynn has to work through this himself, she thinks. She's not sure how she knows that, or if it's even correct, but it feels right. And then the next thing she knows, Flynn has just flung the book away from him and into the chasm.

Lurching forward as if her legs are moving of their own accord, Nicole approaches him slowly, warily, as if unsure of whether or not she'll find the real Flynn or the Flynn that was in the book's clutches.

"Flynn?"

The fog lifts almost instantly from his head and it's like a punch to the gut, like ice water to his soul. Flynn gasps, staggering, the immense power and the alien thoughts rushing out of him like a gust of wind, leaving him feeling breathless and weak and human and ashamed.

When he looks up his eyes have lost the unworldly red glow and have returned to their dark deep brown. He looks relieved, smiling at Nicole but at the same time very dismayed at what just happened.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I-I didn't mean that." He reaches out, slow and unsteady, pulling her into a shaky hug. "Sorry. I'm sorry."

Nicole just stands there, hesitant, because while she can see that Flynn's returning to himself, there's no other way around it: what just happened terrified her. It's her job to protect Flynn, and that includes protection from physical harm and the more supernatural types of harm as well. And allowing him to fall under the spell of some magical book definitely falls into the category of failing at her job.

She lets him pull her into the hug, but her form is rigid and unyielding. "Don't scare me like that, Flynn." Her hands are shaking, which makes her glare angrily at them. It isn't often that she's visibly afraid, but now, she can't help the reaction. "I thought that I was going to lose you." The admission doesn't come easily to her, but she feels it's something he needs to know. She doesn't even know if she's right to be angry, but losing the Librarian is not something she's prepared to face a second time.

There's a pause, in which Nicole lets out a long breath, and when she looks back at Flynn, the hard edges and rage have mostly vanished from her face. In their place is worry and concern, and she asks, "Are you all right?"

Flynn's smile falters when he sees just how deeply his actions have affected Nicole and he can feel the guilt wrecking him with the force of a sledgehammer. What was he thinking? The Librarian is supposed to be incorruptible and he doesn't use the artifacts for his own gain. Of course that didn't always happen, Wilde being the best example but Flynn was not like Wilde – or was he? The thought sends an icy shiver down his spine. And now he had let down the woman he loves – the last thing he wanted to do.

His eyes turn soft under her concerned glance and he doesn't feel deserving of it. All the cockiness and bravado that had accompanied and led them all the way into these Mines, has left him as if it had dissipated with the rest of the spell. He should have been more careful. More responsible.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I-I really don't know what happened, it's like I couldn't think, I didn't know it could do that." He can feel himself stumbling on words as he struggles to explain because he just wants to fix this, wants to make this not have happened. "I screwed up, Nicole. I'm sorry."

The situation is completely different from anything she faced with Wilde, and yet for some odd reason, she's experiencing flashbacks of the day of what she thought was his death. Nothing so drastic happened here, but still, this is something she's going to file away permanently as a terrifying experience.

"You did a lot of things just now, Flynn, but you did not screw up. You had a misstep, yes. But you did what any human being would do. The temptation of power is strong, and-" She falters there, because in her mind, the Librarian ought to be able to withstand such temptations, and yet Flynn fell prey to it. And that renders her torn, because on the one hand, she's angry with him for succumbing, but on the other, isn't that her fault? Isn't the only person she should be angry with herself? The Guardian safeguards the Librarian's soul, and judging from the events that transpired here, she hasn't done that.

"It's my fault too. I should have stepped in sooner. You're the one who managed to throw it off without anyone's help. And you destroyed the Book, too." And that reinforces in Nicole's mind that Flynn is not lacking in the strength of will department. It's slight, but she feels some of the tension leaving, and she manages to relax just a tiny bit.

"Don't do that again, though, all right? The next time we encounter a powerful magical artifact, don't try to use it. And that goes for both of us." She can't quite keep the concern out of her voice, because the fact remains that she was scared, and still is, even though the danger appears to be over.

"But I did have help. I had you."

Flynn's expression softens and he steps forward again, taking her hands into his. "I... I heard your voice and I... it help me fight off the spell." Or influence or possible horrible side of him that he doesn't want. He drops his eyes and the words come spilling out, too fast and jumbled as he's trying to work through the aftershock of what just happened.

"I remembered you and I remembered that this wasn't how I wanted to be and that it was just a cop out because I was... scared." The admission is difficult but Nicole deserves it after what he just pulled. "The Book showed me how scared I was but then I remembered that..."

He looks up again, the grip on her hand tightening. "... that I'm not that scared when I'm with you."

Sometimes, Nicole just wishes things like thoughts and feelings weren't so absolutely confusing and confounding. Flynn makes her feel things she hasn't let herself feel in a very long time, and when it comes to trying to express herself, she realizes she's very, very bad at it.

"Well, you know you'll always have me, as far as I'm concerned." If anything tries to separate them, well, she knows for damned sure she'll put up a fight. "And you have a lot of reasons to be scared. It's a big world out there, and even bigger what with all the magic and evil just roaming around." And she honestly wouldn't blame him for ever feeling as though he wants to run away and hide from it all.

"It takes a very brave man to stay even when feeling scared. You are brave, Flynn, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." She looks him straight in the eyes, hoping he can see how sincere she is about this. "The Book was just using you and playing off the things that worry you. It's not your fault." She realizes that, now that her anger and heightened emotions have faded somewhat.

"Thanks." It does make him feel better because he knows Nicole would not lie to him; especially not about something as big as this. "I appreciate that."

It's a throwback to when he tried to make her feel better on their first mission and he knows she'll recognize it as such; after all she is the type to notice everything.

In a sudden impulse he brings her hand up to her face, cupping her cheek.

"I won't forget it again." He makes it a point to keep his voice earnest and steady, trying to mirror the sincerity in her eyes. "I promise."

That brings her up short, and takes her back in time to their first adventure together. Of course she remembers that conversation and her response. It stirred up something inside her that Flynn would attempt to understand her the way he did. It meant a lot to her, what he said back then, and she recognizes that her words mean a lot to him as well.

"It's what I'm here for." It's what both of them are there for; both of them say what needs to be said, not to just silence or dismiss, but because they both understand each other so well and know exactly what to say almost instinctively.

"I will hold you to that." But the hard look in her eyes has all but gone, replaced by the sheer amount of love that she holds for him. "Now, what do you say to getting out of here?"

The look in her eyes brings a warm fuzzy feeling to the pit of his stomach and Flynn exhales with a smile. He brings their faces together for a kiss, his thumb tracing over her cheek. In this moment, everything feels silly – being afraid, what is there to be afraid of? He has his Guardian to help him face the challenges ahead. As long as she's with him there's nothing he can't do.

"I say that is the best idea we had all day." Eventually he pulls back (a bit reluctantly) and takes a look around at the men on the ground; and then Jerry. A shadow crosses Flynn's face when he remembers the admission of what his 'uncle' had done to him. Taken from him.

"What are we..." When the pain and anger slips into his inflection again Flynn clears his throat, trying to will it away. "What are we gonna do about them?"

When Flynn kisses her, it makes Nicole feel as though everything that's wrong with the world has suddenly been made right for those few seconds that his lips are on hers. Even when it ends, that feeling still lingers, and her lips turn upwards into a happy smile.

"Tie them up, call the appropriate law enforcement, same as always." Nicole sounds as though she could be discussing arrangements for a picnic, but this is just business as usual, as far as she's concerned. "Unless you'd prefer to do something different with him." Given the personal nature of this particular case, and all.

Flynn's face lingers on Jerry and the conflicting emotions rage on; an impulse to go over there and cause physical harm, to punch and kick at the defenseless man, to drag him over the edge of the cliff so he can join the book in the pool underneath. Flynn has never been a violent person and it's an urge that is new and unfamiliar, one that makes his throat dry, seems to cramp his heart and sit heavy on his shoulders. It's ugly. He doesn't like it.

It feels like Jerry looks.

He tries to think of his mom instead, sitting with him, listening patiently as Flynn tells her about the new stories he has read. He thinks of his father, of lying propped up on the floor, surrounded by paper and his crayons, drawing as his dad's voice tells him about magic places and hidden treasure. It lifts some of the dark cloud circling his mind and exhales slowly, shaking his head.

"No. The authorities will know what to do with him."

Nicole just stands by and watches Flynn. This is something he needs to work out on his own; she shouldn't tell him what she thinks, because this is personal. Jerry's betrayal is terrible, and she knows that if it were her, it would feel like the worst sort of slap in the face. But Flynn has to work through those emotions; he has to decide what he wants to do.

"All right. We'll call them and let them handle all the details. Now, what do you say we get out of here, call the authorities, and wrap this mission up?"

Flynn smiles, the first lines of exhaustion showing around his eyes. The aftereffect of the spell still lingers uncomfortably in his limbs, an unpleasant tingly sensation and he massages at his hands, trying to get rid of it. "I say that sounds like a wonderful plan and I'm all for it."

Sparing one last look at Jerry he shakes his head. "Let's just go. I don't want to... I don't want to see him. Ever again."

It does her a world of good to see that smile. She's always liked his smiles, and it's comforting to know that even while he must be reeling from everything that's just happened, he can still smile at her.

"All right then, so we'll go." She reaches for his hand, intending to hold it while they walk away from Jerry and what surely is going to be a terrible memory for Flynn. "You were very brave, you know."

"You think so? I don't feel very brave." He rubs the back of his neck, looking rather embarrassed. "Foolish is more like it. Didn't listen to Judson, didn't listen to you..."

Thinking back on how he acted throughout the mission Flynn feels a belated sense of mortification at his own cocky attitude. Dismissing all signs and warnings, prancing around like some kind of a big shot, giving everybody attitude...

He takes the hand gladly, shuffling his feet as they make their way back to the exit. "I was kind of a jerk these past few days, huh?"

"Maybe not the whole time, and maybe not when you were reading that book, but a man who wasn't brave would never have gone in the first place. Perhaps you should have listened to Judson, but sometimes the only one who can tell you what you should be doing is yourself."

There's a fine line between listening to counsel and letting others tell you what to do. Nicole thinks Flynn just took his first step in terms of learning how to decide between the two.

"As for you being a jerk, maybe a little. But everyone's been a jerk at least once. I think that I can forgive you this time."

Flynn ducks his head, the ghost of a smile turning up the corner of his mouth. "Thanks."

That's probably a talk he will have to have with Judson, too. He can't say he's particularly looking forward to it, especially not after ending up destroying the book... but it feels good to know that Nicole isn't angry with him. Hopefully Judson will be just as forgiving.

"I'll try not to make it a habit."

"Anytime." And she means that. If she can't be completely honest with him, even when it might be uncomfortable, then she's not living up to all aspects of her job as Guardian. And if she can't forgive him, then she's failing there as well.

"Why don't we both agree not to make it a habit? That way, we both have something we can work on." She can propose that, because she knows she can be abrasive and abrupt. If they both have a mutual goal in mind, they can help each other out along the way.

"Sounds good to me."

Well, maybe this mission wasn't a total disaster after all. The world hasn't ended, they're still alive and... he'll deal with the Jerry situation over time. That's not going to be easy but making it back home today may count as a small victory.

"Man, Charlene is not gonna like all these travel expenses. Hey, you, uh, how about you come with me when I hand these in?" He's glancing over at her with puppy eyes. "You know, Guardian, guarding..."

"What, did you think I'd just get you back to the Library and leave? Of course I'll come with you." Guardian, guarding, after all. She doesn't stop guarding him just because they're back home and back in the Library. But there's also the fact that puppy eyes work very well on her.

"She really is strict when it comes to money."

"That's good. I bet if you tell her that all of these extra costs were absolutely necessary she'll totally believe you."

If it were Flynn to explain the money situation he has an inkling they would not be so lucky. But Nicole, she'll absolutely believe Nicole, he's sure of it. It's a fail safe plan, really.

"I'll do my best to appeal to her sensible side. After all, it isn't as though we went out of our way to be frivolous with our funds, did we?" She doesn't think so, and she'll do her best to sway Charlene to their side.

It might not work, but she and Charlene have always had an amiable relationship. Hopefully that will work in their favor.

[PSL] The Return to King Solomon's Mines Ultimate Fix It (for slapthelibrarian)

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