H-hiking's fun. S-secret places to swim at, nice night sky, y'know. C-course it's even b-better if you're on a job and t-there's a nice big pile of units when you get the t-thing.
[He wished there was a nice night sky. The sun only barely went down as it was, and all that cloud cover. He missed seeing stars. Stupid as it was, he was really missing it real bad right now. He'd been so sure he'd make it out of here. There was still a chance he might, a good chance, but that wasn't guaranteed. At all.]
[Flynn can hear the intense cold seeping more and more into Peter's inflection and his mind draws up a checklist of hypothermia facts that he doesn't want, that he wants to forget, to unlearn, but it won't let him. They are there, at the forefront, as if mocking him in his impotence. He presses his knuckle to his forehead, fighting back a sob when his heart breaks at the thought of his friend out there somewhere, out of reach, dying.
Dying.]
Don't. Don't say that, don't... I don't want you to be alone. I won't let you!
[Yeah. That hit hard. He thought about his mom and what he did. But he couldn't let Flynn hear him die.
Watching it happen twice was bad enough, and being frozen...why did it have to be this? At least Yondu went quick. Peter huddles under his shower curtain, in the makeshift shelter he'd dug.
Pointless, yeah, there was a part of him that hoped he'd somehow make it through the night, but he knew quite literally by the feeling in his bones that wasn't gonna happen. He hasn't been eating well enough to handle it, nor were his clothes enough to stave off frostbite. He couldn't feel his feet or hands or face anymore, and the shivering that he'd been doing had grown particularly violent. Everything else hurt. It wasn't like the shock of going into space, yeah, that hurt too, but there were other things to worry about besides just the cold.
All he could focus on and think about right now was how cold he was. He desperately needed a scrap of warmth, anything. He clumsily clutched his tablet close to him, as if the glow would provide enough warmth.]
I m-might say so-something s-s-stupid if I get d-d-delirious. W-won't live it down when I g-g-g-get back.
[It's so painful he almost can't take it. Flynn wants to scream, to run out into the night and go find him, wants to chuck the tablet across the room, wants this to not be real, to not happen. He can't do this again. Not after Simone and not like this.
But he has to. For Peter's sake. It's the only thing he can do for his friend, the only small comfort he can grant and Flynn will be damned if he won't stick it out for him. He can do this. He can keep it together. For Peter.
But he can feel the tears pushing their way past his tightly shut eyes, hot on his cheeks and he wipes furiously at his face.]
D-don't be stupid, I won't tell anyone. We're friends, remember? You... you can tell me anything.
Well, you're gonna come back and then we'll talk a lot more and I'm going to tell you all about the Third Dynasty and I promise it's not going to be boring and I'll include lots of mummies and curses and you're gonna think it's really cool and, and...
[What is he even saying? He doesn't even know anymore, the words just keep coming, interrupted by the occasional sniff.]
And you're not dumb, you're really not and you can always talk to me and I'll... I'll always be your friend.
[That gets a chuckle. What wouldn't he give just to have another one of those lazy nights just talking about everything and nothing and learning about things he never thought he'd cared about.
You'll always be my friend.
But his laugh trails off.]
No, I'm d-dumb. I d-dropped my Zune, almost got G-gamora locked out. I was so s-stupid.
[He leans his forehead against his tablet, fighting back...everything. Every negative feeling.]
Peter, stop. You're not stupid. And... and it's gonna be fine. Everything's going to be alright.
[Nothing is alright, things aren't even remotely close to fine but that's not important right now. If he can at least be there for Peter, if he can take away just a little of the pain and fear – if he can do that at least he will have done something.]
You're gonna come back and... and we'll talk lots more. I promise. I'll even let you pick the subject.
I s-should have s-secured my Zune b-better, I s-should have b-been faster, I should have p-p-paid attention to the t-time...no, I really am an idiot, I c-could have gotten her k-killed...
[There were a lot of should haves. He trails off, not wanting to think about it. He hated himself for being stupid enough to get himself in this situation, to put the others in danger, to put Gamora in danger. And now he was paying for his recklessness. Maybe he'd pushed his luck too many times, like in the quantum asteroid field, when he'd crashed the Milano. He'd blamed Rocket, but that was also because he didn't want to think about his own mistakes.]
Y...yeah. Th-that's...that sounds g-great. I'll b-be back s-soon, 'course I will.
[His voice is muffled, he's closed his eyes, his face buried in his arms, tablet squished up against his freezing face.]
[He wanted to interject, to debate the matter, didn't want Peter to feel so bad about himself in his last minutes – but now wasn't the time. Not when they only had these very few moments left.]
Yes, you will. And I'll be... I'll be waiting. We will all be waiting. And I'm gonna go and try to find you some cool stuff. And food. Some good food too, real food, not those stupid raisin snacks from the vending machines.
[He pauses long enough to look back at his screen.]
Y-you have a t-thing against r-raisins? R-raisnettes were p-pretty g-good.
[There's a long pause as he struggles with another bout of violent shivering. It was getting harder and harder to think. Or care, really. Why not just fall asleep? It was a lot better than everything being numb or in stabbing pain.]
R-raisins are g-good p-paired up w-with other st-stuff. Like ch-chocolate or b-bread.
[This is important right now.]
It's p-pretty awesome. L-like fireworks. Just...like th'stars started d-dancin'.
[It was a nice thought, at least. Being warm on the bridge, Gamora in his arm...sad, because of Yondu...but it was an amazing sight. The light of his tablet bounced off against his face and he could almost see it. Instead of the weird dim light of Alaska, it was proper night, stars and swirling nebulae and planets and just...everything where it should be. His teeth stopped chattering, his shivers dying down. Which was a bad thing.]
Should take a look out a window. It's nice. [While the chattering's stopped, he still sounds tired.]
They're really not. [The most important.] But I'll save mine for you. You can have them. The next time we see each other.
[When Peter's voice quiets down and he starts talking about the funeral lights Flynn doesn't think he can go on. His head drops between his knees and a strangled sound threatens to escape him that he suffocates in the crook of his arm.]
Wow, you're-- you're right. [He stammers the words out, his voice choking up.] It's beautiful.
[The thought of raisins--or chocolate-covered raisins--was nice. No raisins after after he left home. For some reason they don't sell them in space.]
See, I told y...you. [Peter assumed he was on the bridge of the Milano or something, showing Flynn around.] Imagine seein' th...that every day. Y...you'll love space, I promise.
[Part of Flynn wants to yell at him. To tell him to stay awake, to snap out of it and stay with him... but there's nothing he can do. There's nobody who can reach Peter in time, not after lockdown.]
Thanks for showing me. It's amazing, it's-- I-I can't wait to see w-where we go next.
[Peter's suddenly really glad Flynn likes it out in space. It really is amazing, and he can only imagine all the fun stuff they'll be able to do and all the places he can show him out here.
Everything seems warm and comfortable and his friends are here so...that's good. It's good. Something in him wants to let go, another part of him's trying to fight it. He has to...say something to Gamora? What was he gonna say? Something unspoken.
But the stars were calling.]
Sh...should be--
[That's all he gets out. The line's still on, but he doesn't answer anymore until his tablet turns off.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[He wished there was a nice night sky. The sun only barely went down as it was, and all that cloud cover. He missed seeing stars. Stupid as it was, he was really missing it real bad right now. He'd been so sure he'd make it out of here. There was still a chance he might, a good chance, but that wasn't guaranteed. At all.]
No. It's... I'm...I d-don't wanna do that to you.
no subject
Dying.]
Don't. Don't say that, don't... I don't want you to be alone. I won't let you!
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Watching it happen twice was bad enough, and being frozen...why did it have to be this? At least Yondu went quick. Peter huddles under his shower curtain, in the makeshift shelter he'd dug.
Pointless, yeah, there was a part of him that hoped he'd somehow make it through the night, but he knew quite literally by the feeling in his bones that wasn't gonna happen. He hasn't been eating well enough to handle it, nor were his clothes enough to stave off frostbite. He couldn't feel his feet or hands or face anymore, and the shivering that he'd been doing had grown particularly violent. Everything else hurt. It wasn't like the shock of going into space, yeah, that hurt too, but there were other things to worry about besides just the cold.
All he could focus on and think about right now was how cold he was. He desperately needed a scrap of warmth, anything. He clumsily clutched his tablet close to him, as if the glow would provide enough warmth.]
I m-might say so-something s-s-stupid if I get d-d-delirious. W-won't live it down when I g-g-g-get back.
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But he has to. For Peter's sake. It's the only thing he can do for his friend, the only small comfort he can grant and Flynn will be damned if he won't stick it out for him. He can do this. He can keep it together. For Peter.
But he can feel the tears pushing their way past his tightly shut eyes, hot on his cheeks and he wipes furiously at his face.]
D-don't be stupid, I won't tell anyone. We're friends, remember? You... you can tell me anything.
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[He's overcome by a particularly strong fit of shivering and his teeth chatter. There's a long pause.
You can tell me anything.]
T...thanks. I-I mean, f-for being my friend. I-If I don't g-g-get another chance to t-tell y'. T-talkin' to you h-helped. Always.
[A bitter scoff.]
M-makes the whole w-worryin' about im-immortality k-kinda dumb now, d-doesn't it?
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[What is he even saying? He doesn't even know anymore, the words just keep coming, interrupted by the occasional sniff.]
And you're not dumb, you're really not and you can always talk to me and I'll... I'll always be your friend.
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You'll always be my friend.
But his laugh trails off.]
No, I'm d-dumb. I d-dropped my Zune, almost got G-gamora locked out. I was so s-stupid.
[He leans his forehead against his tablet, fighting back...everything. Every negative feeling.]
S-stupid, stupid, stupid!
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[Nothing is alright, things aren't even remotely close to fine but that's not important right now. If he can at least be there for Peter, if he can take away just a little of the pain and fear – if he can do that at least he will have done something.]
You're gonna come back and... and we'll talk lots more. I promise. I'll even let you pick the subject.
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[There were a lot of should haves. He trails off, not wanting to think about it. He hated himself for being stupid enough to get himself in this situation, to put the others in danger, to put Gamora in danger. And now he was paying for his recklessness. Maybe he'd pushed his luck too many times, like in the quantum asteroid field, when he'd crashed the Milano. He'd blamed Rocket, but that was also because he didn't want to think about his own mistakes.]
Y...yeah. Th-that's...that sounds g-great. I'll b-be back s-soon, 'course I will.
[His voice is muffled, he's closed his eyes, his face buried in his arms, tablet squished up against his freezing face.]
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Yes, you will. And I'll be... I'll be waiting. We will all be waiting. And I'm gonna go and try to find you some cool stuff. And food. Some good food too, real food, not those stupid raisin snacks from the vending machines.
no subject
[He pauses long enough to look back at his screen.]
Y-you have a t-thing against r-raisins? R-raisnettes were p-pretty g-good.
[There's a long pause as he struggles with another bout of violent shivering. It was getting harder and harder to think. Or care, really. Why not just fall asleep? It was a lot better than everything being numb or in stabbing pain.]
Ever s'seen a R-ravager f-funeral?
no subject
[There is a shuffling on the line when he wipes his eyes repeatedly.]
No. What is it like?
cw hallucinations
[This is important right now.]
It's p-pretty awesome. L-like fireworks. Just...like th'stars started d-dancin'.
[It was a nice thought, at least. Being warm on the bridge, Gamora in his arm...sad, because of Yondu...but it was an amazing sight. The light of his tablet bounced off against his face and he could almost see it. Instead of the weird dim light of Alaska, it was proper night, stars and swirling nebulae and planets and just...everything where it should be. His teeth stopped chattering, his shivers dying down. Which was a bad thing.]
Should take a look out a window. It's nice. [While the chattering's stopped, he still sounds tired.]
cw hallucinations
[When Peter's voice quiets down and he starts talking about the funeral lights Flynn doesn't think he can go on. His head drops between his knees and a strangled sound threatens to escape him that he suffocates in the crook of his arm.]
Wow, you're-- you're right. [He stammers the words out, his voice choking up.] It's beautiful.
cw hallucinations
See, I told y...you. [Peter assumed he was on the bridge of the Milano or something, showing Flynn around.] Imagine seein' th...that every day. Y...you'll love space, I promise.
cw hallucinations
[Part of Flynn wants to yell at him. To tell him to stay awake, to snap out of it and stay with him... but there's nothing he can do. There's nobody who can reach Peter in time, not after lockdown.]
Thanks for showing me. It's amazing, it's-- I-I can't wait to see w-where we go next.
cw hallucinations
Everything seems warm and comfortable and his friends are here so...that's good. It's good. Something in him wants to let go, another part of him's trying to fight it. He has to...say something to Gamora? What was he gonna say? Something unspoken.
But the stars were calling.]
Sh...should be--
[That's all he gets out. The line's still on, but he doesn't answer anymore until his tablet turns off.]
no subject
[Flynn closes his eyes, listening to the silence and the environmental sounds coming through the tablet.]
Peter. [A little more insistent, a little more desperate. But it's no use.
When Peter's tablet turns off Flynn keeps his side of the line open for a little while longer before he can bring himself to cut the connection.]